Thursday, June 30, 2011

Singapore, Land of...Mashed Potatoes?

Let this be my obligatory blog post for the month of June.  Things have been busy as we prepare to move back to the United States from Thailand.  But before we left, Anne and I took a little trip to Singapore, just the two of us, so Anne could have some testing done.  In that spirit, I now offer my most disjointed blog post to date.

 Anne's biggest priority in Singapore: to partake of mashed potatoes dispensed from a machine.  One of her middle school teachers told her about this, so she was bound and determined to get her some hot and tasty mashed potatoes.  From a machine.

These machines aren't difficult to find, as every single 7-Eleven store in Singapore has one.  Our challenge was actually finding one that worked.  Eventually we did, and Anne was more than happy to eat them.  Of course initially she was leery, as when it came out of the machine it looked a lot like snot and was extremely runny.  But within a few minutes the mixture had thickened, and Anne gladly consumed the entire container.

While we only had a couple of days in Singapore, and quite limited opportunities to see the island, I did take advantage of Anne's handy-dandy point-and-shoot camera to take photographs of the interesting things I saw in the city-state of Singapore.

So, Anne came out of the restroom at the mall which housed the clinic and said, "Dad, I think there are urinals in the women's bathroom!"  Fortunately the mystery was already solved, as I had already visited the men's room, which had the following pictures on the stalls.

Door Number Three is pretty obvious, it's the sitter.  I was a little surprised, however, that Anne didn't recognize what was behind Door Number Two.  Yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen, it's a squat toilet!  I didn't even have to stretch to get that mention in.

Okay, astute readers, why is the following picture so amusing?

That's right, inspirational hair.  By Melvin.  You know, Melvin.  Bald Melvin.  Now I know I've got plenty of hair issues, but really?  I'm going to get inspiration for my coif from a folically-challenged man?  Mad props to Anne for spotting this in a magazine and pointing it out.  That girl knows funny.

So, while Anne was testing I walked around the mall, which coincidentally was once the grandstand for Singapore's major horse-racing track.  They turned it into a mall.  I know, crazy, right?  But how's this for crazy?

That's right, a stairway to...a blank wall.  Love it.  Tell the kids to run up and get my *THUNK!*

This next funny is funny if you speak Lao or Thai and are willing to be creative enough to not even try and pronounce the word in it's proper Chinese form.  Loi (ລອຍ-ลอย) in Lao/Thai means "to float."  Kee (ຂີ້-ขี้) means doo-doo.  Hence, loi kee (ລອຍຂີ້-ลอยขี้) means "to float poo."  Exactly what I would name my best chicken and rice restaurant.

I have no idea what the proper Chinese pronunciation is, by the way.  Because that would totally spoil the fun of it for me.  And for the record, the chicken and rice was delicious.

I have to include a photograph with the Zufelts, not the least because they took me to the floating poo restaurant.  With friends like this, you will never go wrong.  EVER.

Just out of curiosity, where do you keep your hoser eels?  I'm more of an aquarium kinda guy, where I can see my hoser eel and what whatever shenanigans it might be up to.  Because there's really nothing quite as disconcerting as throwing open a hallway cabinet door and coming face-to-face with a light-deprived and possibly quite hungry hoser eel.

Anne and I spotted these frames at the eye doctor, and she channeled Mr. Frederickson, from the Disney movie Up.  Frightening, the resemblance.  It wouldn't have been too difficult to find a chubby little Scout-looking kid wandering around Singapore, just to complete the picture.

It was a good trip.  We learned a lot, and it was pretty cool to see another country.  Singapore had a lot more trees than I expected, and it was nice to see orderly traffic that all flowed in the right direction, with no crazy motorcyclists weaving in and out of the cars (I'm still slightly bitter about the motorcyclist that hit me trying to pass me on the right, while I was executing a right-hand turn).

That said, it was good to come home to Thailand, even if it's our home for only a few more weeks.


  1. Love hearing about all your adventures. I love the staircase leading to a blank wall! Can't wait for you guys to come back!

  2. Cute photo of Anne looking like the Up old guy.

    I believe the sign you were standing by was supposed to say, "Ho, Cereal!" But the guy spelled it Sereel.

    My last quip in this comment is this: How do you manage insert a little scatological humor into every blog post? Now I'll never have the stomach to eat at Loy Kee again (or ever).

    But, hey, thanks for keeping this blog. It's been fun to read what your family's been doing and experiencing. Safe travels.

  3. Ah, Marcie, it's quite easy when you never grew out of the stage where anything potty-related has the potential to be funny. It also helps that at least two of my children are firmly planted in that stage, and I'm always one to go for cheap, easy laughs.

    And, as that Sage of the Deep, Patrick Star, once so eloquently said, " can't always expect my usual level of stupidity. I like to mix things up, keep you on your toes."